I want to stick my p in your. b.
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
