There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
