so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
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