found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Are my feet made of real feet?
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize