Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
