We're facebook friends in real life
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
it's like iHOP with fire
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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