bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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