I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
