would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
