were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
