Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
