for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
