So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
