I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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