remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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