if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
