you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Randomize
