What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
its not stalking. its research.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
