of course. lets lasso hookers.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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