If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
bring money and cleavage
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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