"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Randomize
