Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
