This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
