You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
you would pick up someone in the library
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
