Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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