a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
