Can Purell be used as lube?
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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