all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
