grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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