dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
