halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
