Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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