you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
All I want is dick and wine.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
