Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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