I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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