i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
