I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
