first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
