is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
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