Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Dear god my vagina.
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