what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
