that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
