idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
