Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
