I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
