your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Randomize
