I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
