why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
