You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I can't trust your balls anymore.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
