just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
